There is no absolution; there are no clear-cut rules that you can strictly follow and thereby relieve your anxiety. There is only you, doing your best.
This excessive concern over a minor matter sounds like the product of an anxious aversion to declaring the book finished.
Your feelings of envy are harming you by making it hard for you to achieve a degree of self-defined success that might lead to you feeling less envious.
The question is how to go about writing characters who aren't like you, not whether you are allowed to.
It's very easy, in this atmosphere focused on numbers and "winning," to get jealous, and anxious, and insecure.
You have to pace yourself, like an athlete with an injury doing slow small exercises before returning to marathon running.
Revising is as individual as writing. There's no wrong way to do it, and there are no hard and fast rules about how it goes.
As with writer's block, what's getting in the way of self-promotion is not practical but psychological.
It is so important to be able to play with one's creative work. And the more your livelihood or identity depends on creative production, the harder that gets.
The way you feel isn't a rational response to a defined situation, and can't be evaluated on that basis. Feelings don't stay contained and orderly. Some of your feelings may not even be about your writing.