Let somebody else write only allistic characters. You can write a character who is probably, or maybe, on the spectrum, but this does not need a huge reveal or internal struggle—it can just be a thing you do, among other things you do, as an author.
The way you feel isn't a rational response to a defined situation, and can't be evaluated on that basis. Feelings don't stay contained and orderly. Some of your feelings may not even be about your writing.
Draw on the best of the way the world is and has been, as well as your most optimistic hopes for what it could be. The real world is very unfair to those on the margins. Use your writing to make up for it.
Today is the fifth Tuesday of the month, which means that my answer to this heartfelt letter is available exclusively to my Patreon patrons.
Let go of any inclination you have to identify with your work and interpret critiques of your work as critiques of you. Critiques of your work are critiques of your work. Your job is to use them to make your future work better.
As we face difficult times as creators of art, we will face a lot of pressure from different sides, and from within ourselves.
In an emotionally challenging situation, you will have to look at how your big feelings interact with your writing, and decide whether that merits adjusting your approach.