Your style is where you assert your right to do things the way you want to do them.
You have written 100,000 words of a lesson for yourself, which is that you cannot start by taking harmful stereotypes as givens and then write a harmless book.
Can you see ways to redefine "enough" and put it within your reach? Can you see ways to feel like enough right now?
There is no absolution; there are no clear-cut rules that you can strictly follow and thereby relieve your anxiety. There is only you, doing your best.
Celebrate your glorious ideas rather than treating yourself as a failure because plots are trickier for you.
You are totally permitted to just do the fun parts of this and skip the parts you dislike. Hobbies are for enjoying.
You're operating by improv theater rules, where as soon as a character introduces a new idea, you say "yes, and" to it. But this theater troupe answers to your direction.